Had a conversation with my cousin who lives and studies in Russia, she was feeling me on her current plans for the winter holidays. the conversation went like this
Cousin: how far?
Me: I dey :)
Cousin: you get plans for the hols? you dey go home?
Me: not this time around... no dough. you?
Cousin: Hmm... thinkin' about it. My guy might send me some money... he dey work now.
Me: what guy?
Cousin: Na Solomon oh!!
Me: Solomon?! No! Thought you guys had broken up! You told me he didn't even know you were leaving Nigeria, much less you were in Russia! See this girl, after all your talk talk, say you wan move on! So, you finally broke down and called him, abi?
Cousin: Me?! No! I die first! lol! I stand firm oh! na him wey find me on facebook oh!
Me: So... feel me in nah!
Cousin: He say he fit send me plane ticket moni. Say i be the one he wan marry.. hmm, that day i wan commot dress wan give my life to Christ! lol! :p
I congratulated her on her good news, went off-line and proceeded to contemplate on the conversation. Apparently this guy-we'll call him Mike- whom she'd left behind in Nigeria, with no forwarding address or any other form of contact, not even a smell of 'It was nice knowing you.. i'm off to greener pastures!', I mean we're talking a year of no contact with a guy, whom at one time she's been willing to throw herself off a 6 foot story building for. Mike, whom she had given 3 years of her life while in school and had often made my heart skip beats one time too many when she'd call at the dead of night, screaming 'he's cheating on me!' was the same guy who wanted to buy her a plane ticket to come home for the holidays. She had finally taken the initiative and had broken it off and moved on... and now he wanted her back! I was a lil bit skeptical-that's another story-, but touched no less. No, scratch that, i was overwhelmed with a slight twig- seeing as my whole life, love/relationships had never been too kind- and also happy that she'd finally got him back. Even if it had meant her moving thousands of miles away from home to get him back.
I wish I could be that strong and move on. I wish I didn't always feel the mechanical need to always keep my exes -yes there have been a lot!- updated about my going ins and going out. It might have saved me a lot of heartache. But I always felt i owed them, i felt they had a right to know where i was going, who I was with, when -if traveling- i might, possible, probably, if they really really wanted me, be coming back. I sigh now when I ponder on all the ridiculous moves I made all in the name of wanting or willing, that's a better word, a guy to get me back. I thought if he had access to my life, knew my every move then that would save him the time of searching for me.
I need to rethink my beliefs, if it's meant to be, then it shall be. If I am meant to be with whoever God sees fit for me, then I'll be. I have to stop giving all these men access to me. If they can't chase me, what's the fun in that?!
Wow... epiphany right there...deuces y'all
:(
Cousin: how far?
Me: I dey :)
Cousin: you get plans for the hols? you dey go home?
Me: not this time around... no dough. you?
Cousin: Hmm... thinkin' about it. My guy might send me some money... he dey work now.
Me: what guy?
Cousin: Na Solomon oh!!
Me: Solomon?! No! Thought you guys had broken up! You told me he didn't even know you were leaving Nigeria, much less you were in Russia! See this girl, after all your talk talk, say you wan move on! So, you finally broke down and called him, abi?
Cousin: Me?! No! I die first! lol! I stand firm oh! na him wey find me on facebook oh!
Me: So... feel me in nah!
Cousin: He say he fit send me plane ticket moni. Say i be the one he wan marry.. hmm, that day i wan commot dress wan give my life to Christ! lol! :p
I congratulated her on her good news, went off-line and proceeded to contemplate on the conversation. Apparently this guy-we'll call him Mike- whom she'd left behind in Nigeria, with no forwarding address or any other form of contact, not even a smell of 'It was nice knowing you.. i'm off to greener pastures!', I mean we're talking a year of no contact with a guy, whom at one time she's been willing to throw herself off a 6 foot story building for. Mike, whom she had given 3 years of her life while in school and had often made my heart skip beats one time too many when she'd call at the dead of night, screaming 'he's cheating on me!' was the same guy who wanted to buy her a plane ticket to come home for the holidays. She had finally taken the initiative and had broken it off and moved on... and now he wanted her back! I was a lil bit skeptical-that's another story-, but touched no less. No, scratch that, i was overwhelmed with a slight twig- seeing as my whole life, love/relationships had never been too kind- and also happy that she'd finally got him back. Even if it had meant her moving thousands of miles away from home to get him back.
I wish I could be that strong and move on. I wish I didn't always feel the mechanical need to always keep my exes -yes there have been a lot!- updated about my going ins and going out. It might have saved me a lot of heartache. But I always felt i owed them, i felt they had a right to know where i was going, who I was with, when -if traveling- i might, possible, probably, if they really really wanted me, be coming back. I sigh now when I ponder on all the ridiculous moves I made all in the name of wanting or willing, that's a better word, a guy to get me back. I thought if he had access to my life, knew my every move then that would save him the time of searching for me.
I need to rethink my beliefs, if it's meant to be, then it shall be. If I am meant to be with whoever God sees fit for me, then I'll be. I have to stop giving all these men access to me. If they can't chase me, what's the fun in that?!
Wow... epiphany right there...deuces y'all
:(
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