I wrote this piece in responce to an article i read on bellanaija.com, where the author tried (but failed) to explain why good girls are drawn to bad guys. I felt that she really didn't know what she was talkign about, (if she is a female) and thought i should school her...so this is my response:)
To the writer of GOOD GIRL VS BAD GUY SYNDROME article, I appreciate your interpretation and observation of why good girls are turn on by the thought of cool bad guys. It was an interesting, entertaining read and it definitely shed some light to girls who have been in this position and waiting for someone to shed light on. You did. Good job.
However I would like to state that as much as you tried not to be biased and pick sides when explaining the good girls loving the bad guy phenomenon, it was pretty obvious that you had already picked a side. You were on the side of the girls who had enough sense not to get involved with these so-called cool bad guys. it’s a wise choice, I’d be on their side to…if I was the opposite sex and misogynistic. But you know what? I’m not gonna go there, I just wanna explain to the readers why I think your conclusion is not hundred percent justifiable.
In the third paragraph, you explained how you’d gotten a clearer perception on the reasons which justified why bad guys ARE bad guys thanks to your very insightful friend, according to him, it is because, and this is from what I understand, they get kicks and take immense pleasure in lying to these innocent girls, whose only real crime was giving them the time of day and believing what these good-for-nothings had to say. Then also explained that only smart girls are too clever to believe everything that they hear and see. The latter is the only part I agreed with. Do you want to know why they are willing to now take a much longer time before finally deciding if the man who’s courting them is worth their time? Now, feel free to impose your wisdom here and prove me wrong, but could it be that one time, a very long time ago, these smart girls were once that gullible girl who had been lied to, cheated on, played with, kicked around and basically used as a rag? That smart girl had once falling in love and falling hard…for the wrong man so now, of course she’s gonna be careful and investigative before she makes her final verdict on her wooer, of course now she’ll make him pursue her longer than he would have done have it not been for life greatest teacher, experience, In some cases she might even decide to play him, because in her heart he’ll probably do the same to her if the tables were turned.
Now, this paragraph is for the Mr I’m-so-bad-i-can-get-anyone-i-want-cos-in-the-end-ladies-love-a-ladiesman Man, right now you’re probably thinking, yea, I’m the king of the world, every lady is at my feet for the taking, I’ve had more woman than I’ve had underwears and all my friends wanna be like me, and you’re probably ecstatic, obnoxious and blind enough to believe that you’ve got all the time in the world before you finally settle down, but how long you think will it last before your actions finally get to a point where it is turned against you? How long before karma hits and you’re in a compromising position? When you finally fall in love and it isn’t returned? When woman just stop giving men the time of day (like that’s ever gonna happen)? When female family members are played (who cares?! every man for himself, right?)? When you have a life threatening disease because of your sexual philandering ways? When you’re old and have no one left willing to stay with you (there can only be one Hugh Hefner you know?)? I guess the questions don’t really scare most of these bad guys, I mean there is a reason why they are bad guys, lack of fear. If they had an ounce of fear, they probably would slow down. Probably.
To woman out there who have ever been lied to, cheated on, kicked around, and been treated like shit-under-his-feet by any man you ever believed in, gave a chance to, all for love, never think you were vulnerable or weak, you weren’t and you aren’t. You’re caring, generous and have a big heart because it takes a big heart to open your arms to anyone who isn’t your family member and accept that person in your life. Kudos to you for finally getting out of that relationship and getting back to sanity, and don’t think that that part of your life was a waste. It wasn’t! Every experience in life is a worthy lesson. I suggest you think of that part of your life as a very interesting lesson and now you’re ready to explore what else life has to teach you. It’s in our nature to love and believe and respect and be motherly to everyone we meet, especially to the number one men in our lives. I have one advice for any woman who has been with a so-called Mr Cool Bad Guy, who believes that he does really want to be a better person and will behave, if you were a mother and had a child who constantly misbehaved, would you just desert it or just wash your hands off him/her saying God can still give me more? No, you’d punish it and make sure the child has learnt it lessons before rewarding him/her right? That’s what should be done to your man, if he’s worth it and you want him back, punish him but if he isn’t worth your time, kick him to the curve…forever!
This last paragraph is my approach on bad guys and the women who fall for them; to everyone who has ever been in a relationship and who is currently in a relationship, men and women are different. Our sexuality, preference, sexual parts, way of thinking, way we were raised and our morals are different. We should respect that. In this world, even though it is the battle of the sexes, we should respect each other’s’ stance and position in this universe. In Mars and Venus we can battle it out, but on earth we should playJ….think about it. Deuces ya’ll!!
To read the article that brought me out of my hiatus click here:).
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