Omugwu: After Childbirth Who Should Visit Mother Or Mother-In-Law?

Omugwu: Who Should Visit Mother Or MIL?

Let mew first explain to you what Omugwu is an age old tradition in Nigeria where after a women delivers her baby, her mother or mother-in-law comes and takes care of her and the newborn until she is completely healed.

I'm sure most cultures practise this ancient tradition. What i want to know is who do you think should assist you after childbirth? your mother or your mother in law?

I would much prefer my mother come and aid me after childbirth because i know her and she knows me. I've lived with her for a huge part of my life and i know she won't take what i do or say personally read meanings into my words or actions.

Women Get Wahala!
A lot of women complain about the lack of relationship they have with their mother in laws. on this popular group i joined on Facebook, Some have complained that their mother in law will come and not do anything, just bath baby, while the just delivered mother will take up all other house chores, including cooking, cleaning, washing their clothes, husband and children clothes AND MIL clothes too, then there was a woman who mentioned that in addition to
all the house chores she had to do, she  who had just had a c section would have to stand in the bathroom to pass items to the mil while mil bathe her baby. ouch.

I remember one poor woman who had to delivered and her mum could only stay for one week and had to vacate the house because her mmother-in-law came with sister-in-law and SIL 2 kids on the pretense of 'omugwu'. She ended up having to take care of all of them and MIL couldn't bathe her baby because she was too old and had a back problem! a ah! so why even come and give the woman more work now?! Was my own thinking.

But there are also some good stories of women having close bond with their mother in law. One woman had nothing but nice things to say about her mil, she said she didn't lift a finger to do anything when her baby was born, and she so enjoyed her, that she invited her when she had her second baby. I also have a friend who speaks highly of her mil. in her words 'i won the jackpot'.

I wonder what makes some women bond well with their MILs while others have nothing but enmity between the two of them. In my opinion i think it should be a conscious effort. Both women should show respect and love to each other.
Mother in laws, in all honesty have a bigger role to play in maintaining a good relationship with DIL, because the truth is they hold all the cards and decide if they want to make life easy or hell for their DIL.

Should the mother in law come for Omugwu, she should clearly state out what she will and will not be doing. if it's just baby she's going to bath and nothing else she should say that.
the lady should show love and respect to her MIL after all you married her son whom you love so the love should also extend to the mil and his other relatives.

My advice is if you should invite your mother-in-law close your eye and ears, be polite and be aware of everything you do and say as well as everything she does and say. keep your conversations short and not intrusive. no jokes. and don't talk bad about her son.

Talk to me!
Do you think it's the woman's mom who should come for Omugwu? Did you invite your mother-in-law for Omugwu? How was the experience?